Cry for Help-

She  cried help in the night. Nobody heard but her. She realized that no one could save Her but Herself.
So She got a little angry because sometimes you have to be a little angry to put fire in your gut to give you "your Brave". In some form the anger stayed because it worked She liked the fight in Her. It made her strong. She liked Her loud voice it was Her confidence. She liked Her tenacity it was Her strength. She liked Her compassion it was Her Heart... She liked Herself  because despite all Her secrets She was an open book to those who chose to read Her...☀JMG☀

Dispensable...

Feeling very dispensable, unsettled , and agitated not with anyone really just in an emotional state that  feels all too familiar. My first instinct is to shut down I'm really trying to make an effort to stay verbal and connected . Feels like I'm living with ghosts of Exes past and it's not a good vibe.
Maybe this is part of my growth they say nothing ever leaves us until it teaches us the lesson we need to learn from it...well fuck I should have a god damned Phd in heartbreak and pain by now.
I understand my worth but sometimes I allow myself to be jaded and my mind to be clouded with ghosts.and whispers in the dark of what used to be. I can overcome this but I just needed to get it out....for nobody in particular but for me JMG🗝

Season of Purpose...

I believe every season serves its purpose. Winters harshness that stings our skin with its bitter bite gives way to the Mild Beauty of Spring which gently welcomes us to the warmth of the Sun again , life slowly blooming into the rich Fullness of Summer with all of its welcoming Rays that in turn  brings such life to our bones you almost forever forget the winter of our discontent. Fall will come to us again with warm winds that will turn cold soon enough to remind us it's a circle Life,Death ,Love ,Loss , New ,Old, Happy , Sad , Good Bad everything has a season and reason...one always gives way to another...☀JMG❄

Survived not just to tell her tale...

She survived not just to tell her tale She survived to live her Dream. All the cold painful nights filled with tears and bruises led way to Her finding her fight. She is brave , She is kind , She is funny but most of all She is Gentle yet Strong. She has learned to Smile at Herself in the mirror and appreciate what She sees. Behind Her eyes there are a million stories to tell of how She became the Hero of Her own story. How the end wasn't really the end but just an amazing twist of sequences and self  actualization. She is content with who She has allowed Herself be and where She allows Herself to be... She lives and no longer just exists ☀jmg☀

The Memories...

There was a slurry of memories bouncing around in her mind.

Some so beautiful she would always appreciate and defer to them when she was sad. 

She replayed them like a movie in her head. Lead characters, Scenes so well written you knew exactly where the story was going... or so you thought but the change in the tone was so subtle you didn't see it coming. 

You thought for sure you knew how the story would end. Well it wasn't anything you could have guessed. Her happily ever after wasn't what you thought or even with who was written in. The change in lead character left you speechless and even happy. The tragic romance was turned into a sort of romantic comedy a contrast of ending... those are the best endings. Being caught off guard in the best of ways...jmg🎥

Wish to Reality...

Remember the day you wished for this ? She asked herself and She recalled the moment. She thought what a wonderful thought but her heart almost broke thinking it would never be. It's a powerful thing to have the fruition of a Dream. Now the thought of more ,envision the rest of your dreams, what's stopping you ? The question was pondered...Me she said to herself. Make all the aspersions a truth a reality.

The only one standing in your way is the one staring back at you in mirror.

Why are you afraid to be truly happy ? What do you fear ? Is living partly happy all you want for yourself?    No...  I want to live a satisfied , purpose and completely fulfilled life.
So J- stop waiting and finish what you've started you're on the right track...jmg🌻 

Planting doubt-

 I often plant seeds of doubt without realizing all I'm planting is weeds that strangles  the life out of the Beautiful flower ready to bloom.  I am killing what is good and glorious to nurture something self destructive but no more. I will kill the thing ,the thought of that which cripples me. I recognize negative behaviors and I will stop them from continuing. I nurture positive behavior and enforce action. It's amazing to self correct, to stop -Reset and Redirect =
Growth in the most positive way...jmg🌳

My Love is the Ocean...

My Love is the Ocean . Deep and Strong it will pull you in but not pull you under if you don't fight it , it will bring you safely back to shore. I am warm and healing when you need my therapeutic waves to wash over you.My Love can be cold and chaotic in the midst of my storms.yet even in the chaos there is beauty there. It may seem my waves come and go but my grandiose vastness is always there waiting for you. It is a beautiful thing to behold for some fear the Ocean and few dive in ready to swim in all I have to offer. It takes a fearless man to accept my strength but feel my gentility My Love is the Ocean...jmg🌊🌊🌊

Levels of Love...

There are many levels of Love reserved for people,time,circumstance.
There is the love of Parent & Child, deep and unbreakable, the love of  Siblings common experiences and bonds, the love of Friends supportive and joyous, the love of Lovers Passionate and Exciting, the love Husband & Wife which is Respect and Endurance ... if we are lucky we will be Blessed with a number of them. I love on many levels and have been loved on those same levels the
Best parts of my story aren't played out but I'm excited in knowing there is so many more levels to experience...JMG🕰

Sometimes...

Sometimes I forget I don't have to Defend everyone .  And I don't have to confront everyone that I think is wrong, I can gracefully walk by a situation and not have to address it . There is rebel fighter I need to let out at right time.  I don't want to change who I am and be someone im not , however I do want to change my way of thinking about situations .  I appreciate the reality checks and being called on my bullshit I know it's done in a loving way and for the right reasons and I appreciate that .  You help make me a better person it's hard to find someone who will love you unconditionally thank you ,thank you thank you ,I love you with all I am ...jmg🌳

I try...

I am flawed and I fail but I try with all I am. I love you with the best I can give ,I protect you to  keep you safe,I cry because I never want you hurt. I'm genuine,I'm honest to a fault . I feel too deeply and I know I hide my pain from those who care for me. I'm stubborn but adaptable ,I'm hard but gentle ,I'm persistent but a procrastinator. I'm hard headed but understanding... Im difficult in the easiest form.
I make no sense while making complete sense, I forget people can't read my mind  and I need to elaborate. I am a jumbled mess of secure insecurities. But if you have my love I  will walk through fire to keep you... but I will never stay where I'm not wanted ever again...jmg🌳

A place called Home

Let me find this place called Home here in your arms. Let's not build Castles in the sand for they are washed away.Let's build high on the hill that We may take in the Beautiful view. Let's dance in the kitchen and kiss. Let's build on a Dream and turn it into a reality. Let's continue the Love,Respect and sheer delight of a better time in Our lives... Let's be.  I love you I love me I love WE...☀️Jmg

No Wrong..

It's easy to love a man who can do no wrong when everything he says sounds like a song
And he takes my hand it's like a dance full of love & sweet romance.
he makes me safe when my world feels lost ,who will love me at any cost.
That strokes my hair and holds me tight and shows it's going to be alright.
It's hard to love man who can do no wrong ,sometimes I feel I don't belong.
I feel I didn't earn his love, His trust his truth his forever more. I want to give him all I can
And show him he is in my plan...it's easy to love a man-jmg🏹

Favorite...

You're my favorite Hello,Goodbye 
Good Morning,Goodnight...dinner date,night at home, it's probably unnatural the amount of love I have for you. I'm frightened by the faith I have in you. I know you say "This is your life now " and that's s what I have to accept ... The Now. Nothing is forever I tell myself. I accept that ,so you will be my Favorite until you  choose not to be. I love You to the Moon and Back. I would love for you to be my forever but I will be happy with the Now... You are my favorite moment... jmg🕰

Before...

Before I was Mother,Wife, Grandmother I was a rebel. A child with a tenacious spirit that questioned and challenged everything and everyone. When I was told I couldn't do something because of my age, gender or size it only propelled me forward and added fuel to my fire.
There is something innately rebellious about my nature  maybe by birth sign maybe the birth order or maybe circumstances  endured... but whatever it is or all of the above I always loved to challenge the status quo. My motto was just because that's the way it's always been doesn't mean that's the way it  has to be. We were made for change to be stagnant is unnatural.
I put myself in a situation which made me a sheep, a follower which I've never been.
And my new found freedom has left me wanting to challenge myself don't remain stagnant Jennie keep moving forward, challenge yourself  ,push yourself , find the fire add more fuel and take action ... you got this ...jmg✋🏼👊🏼💙

Seasons...

Seasons of the Soul find me lost in the grey of missing ... missing those who touched my heart with these indelible etchings. A feeling of joy,grief and wanting. Te Extrano I know we create our own happiness. Sometimes days are hard when you hear a song,see the Sunset and  it brings you back to me. I'm blesssed for the life and love I had and have . Even in the sorrow joy comes...I remember how good it was to be loved by you. Missing you comes in waves and tonight I'm drowning
...jmg📻11

Lover and a Fighter....

I have always lived as fighter, fists up ,chin down always ready for the first blow and ready with my counter. Sadly an unfortunate series of events had put me into that mode from a very young age. It's not right it's not wrong but is no longer necessary, it held a purpose during a period when I needed to self preserve My life now holds different circumstances. No need to be ready for first strike which now I can let down my defense. Don't get me wrong I will always be diligent not to put myself in harms way. Sometimes there is pain when we love and that is completely different. I will allow love in even if one day it might hurt me...pray for the best but be prepared if the situation changes. I choose to love,trust,and fight only for those I love including myself...I love me and that's the best thing I can do for myself...JMG❤️️🌻❤️️

Home...

I haven't felt at Home in a long time and this feels like home here with you.
I'm safe,protected by your words ,your actions and your reassurances. The degree of concern that you have given me is more than I have ever felt from a man beside my Father & Brother.  I once told you have been able to depend on 2 men in my life but now you are addded as the third. You make it easy even when I'm scared to death about my own insecurities. I trust the process of new ways of seeing , accepting and learning. Thank you for being patient with me but most of all Thank You for being "Home"...I love you more then you will ever know...JMG☀️

Love Affair...

As I walked the streets alone I recalled the love affair I had with this city, this town,this Main Street.
It was a place of comfort and familiarity. Sun rises and sunsets,
Wet toes in the ocean, and the sounds of music permeating the night sky.  Moon lit drives and warm Santana winds running through my hair. Court house steps on lonely nights and Ocean views on morning hikes... I have a new love a new place to call home but you will always remain my first love...🌳🌳jmg(two trees)

Silent cries...

 I heard her crying in the next room .I longed to comfort her .
 Yet I know this is something she has to go through alone in that moment . It is because I  have endured such pain on a deep level that whenever I see someone else going through something  difficult I want to ease the pain.  For many years I tried to save the world well ignoring myself . My first reaction to my own pain is to shut down. It is very hard for me to stay present when I feel slighted but I will work on fixing me because that is all I'm capable of... 🙏🏼jmg

Some days...

Some days are harder than others and the end of this day just got hard... My situation finds me crying for you. Feeling like I have no home, lost,stuck, frustrated and somewhat angry. The face in the mirror Isn't me and  The voice I hear is not my own. I don't like this feeling.
I've fought to find myself and I feel like I'm fading fast .... Ugh the cry for help is to myself . Fight Jennie Fight you are deserving of a better way of living...🌳Jmg🌳

Connections of the Soul...

 It's funny how time and  space can't separate the connection of  certain souls.There are ties that bind and could never be severed. And it's amazing when you haven't seen or spoken to someone in a very long time you can connect with them again and it's like a day hasn't passed.  There are empty spaces in the heart that can only be filled with certain people. The absences of our heart  it's a sad and beautiful thing ... Because in them we find out what real love is. There are people  we are destined to meet and there are people we are destined to love and if we are lucky we will be loved in return..jmg💙

Chasing the sun...

She always seems to be chasing the warm familiar glow of the Sun that kisses her face and leaves her feeling loved... But it never fails as she gets too comfortable in the warmth ,it's a sure thing she will get burned.
Maybe she's chasing the wrong light perhaps it's the Moon that feeds her soul could she have been wrong ? The Sun has always felt so good bringing life to her crying empty soul and as  she closes her eyes and drinks it all in , the healing it provides surely is what she needs to bring her back to true essence of who she is... And in that moment she knows the Sun is the answer for what ails her-The Moon has a silent purpose as it is a rememberance of what was...jmg☀️🌙

Current Mood

Just  finding myself in the moment listening to the ocean breeze wrestle through the palm trees, watching the boats coming to the harbor,calm sea glistening the solitude of this place I come to not often enough...but grateful for this time away from it all.if I could only have one other thing  it would be you here with me. My everyday my first and last kiss ... Current mood content - but missing you...jmg🌴

An opportunity...

I thought you were an enemy but i learned endurance from cruelty... I thought you were a predator but really you taught me to be strong, I thought you didn't care but the lesson I found was I didn't need anyone... I believed I was being ignored but what I found was I was happy in my own company...I thought all the pain I went through was because I deserved it yet I found I make my own joy. It is not contingent on anyone but myself so when you thought you tore me down I learned how to build myself up...🌦🌥🌤☀️JMG

My Darling...

I Love You, I Love You ,I Love You My Darling ...jcr {11}

I love your Touch...

Original Me... Original You

Toxicity ...

I'm done with the toxicity of others I have lived too many days worried about trying to please those who will NEVER be pleased. You can love somebody without liking them. No one likes to be alienated or made to feel judged and it's usually those people who have the who have the most faults are the ones who feel the need to whisper. Speak up or shut up... I'm over you I have the need for positive people - jmg

Solitude...

Its quite funny how I find my joy in solitude. I used want to be where the people were and now all I want is to be alone or just in the company of my significant other... That is peace,my home, my resting place.Dont get me wrong I enjoy family and friends but I'm more apt to the simple silence. There is so much about me that has changed and so much more about myself I'm embracing. I am content and can say I love who I am allow myself to be...🌳Jmg

Silence...

In the silence of the night I sat beneath the full moon...longing and remembering things of long gone past . The memories poured over me like rain. So many good times followed by bad. So many smiles ending in tears. Countless gazes turned into glares.  Unnumbered  hugs that leave me cold ... I have to remember just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely on these silent nights... jmg 🌙

Humbled....

Yesterday I was humbled. I walked up to my desk only to see a kind of problematic patient sitting there with a big smile and she greeted me with joy. I know the look on my face prior to her greeting was not very pleasant ,which led to complete instant guilt. Boom hit one jab to face !!! She had her daughters and said this is my favorite lady here she is so sweet and kind. Pow ... Upper cut !!!
I proceeded and helped her with what she needed with ease as my coworkers were unable to. "She always knows what she's doing and never lets me down " Crack the hook took me down. I had always viewed her in s negative light but I was humbled by the way she viewed me ...I will be more compassionate to the needs of others in every aspect - lesson learned Universe  I hear you... jmg📿

What if...?

What if I told you I miss you every single day... What if I told you I never want you to go away ?
 What if I told you I needed you  ,would that scare you away ?
 And told you all my  insecurities would that ever be OK ?
 What if I gave you my deepest darkest secrets that I've hid,Would it
make you want to leave and your goodbyes would you bid ?
 My strength has been my weakness and my weakness been my strength
 It has carried me beyond any other length.
 So decidedly I have arrived to the conclusion that you're safe , please don't make me regret that I'm giving you this place ...⚓️jmg⚓️

Humanitarian ...

Hope for us all... My Daughter and I were stirred to help someone in need last night on the streets of L.A. But before I was able to pull  over another person got there before us. We were touched that other people's eyes & hearts were receptive to the needs of another human being. It showed us that when you think know one cares a gentle soul steps to give a hand. So we remain hopeful that the seed of kindness lives and grows all around us... Please be mindful of those less fortunate ,that you might be a Blessing in a time of need...🌱  Plant a seed and watch it grow - jmg🌳

Secrets of the Soul...

We all have secrets of the soul that never go past our own lips.

Things that stir our souls in such a way that we carry them with us to the grave.

They linger like ghosts on the edge of the bed ready to haunt us at the most random of times. 

The good thing is by facing the things that haunt us we are less likely to fear as we put a face to the ghosts, a definition to the feeling, and most of all an end to the torture from these things.
I am stronger than the things that could have brought me down. I am lifted by my own strength to profit from things that could have bankrupt me...jmg🌳

Prison of the Mind

 I see you sitting there. What is it that's on your mind ?

Past regret,past loves , past pain...sometimes we become prisoner to our own thoughts.
Do you have people ? or are you as alone as you appear to be.
I wanted to engage but the hesitation killed the chance. I wanted to reach out and let you know I noticed you. That was my misfortune to let you walk away without acknowledging you. Every human being matters and I'm sorry I didn't take a minute to give you a moment of my time ...🌳jmg🌳

TRUTH...

Whatever you do Please hurt me with the Truth and Never comfort me with a lie
If it ever gets to that point...🌊jmg

Hollow Heart...

Her hollow Heart was filled not from the love a man ,
Not from the  Love of her children,not from her siblings, not from her  Mother ,not from her Father,not from her friends But from Herself.
 She does have all of ther above but mostly she has the self-love she needed all along .
The emptiness that used to linger is the longer there.  She can look in the mirror and be content with what she sees it is been a long hard process is not over yet.  She continues to be happy with her choices and knows there are many more good things to come ...hollow  heart no more ❤️Jmg❤️

Rough day put into perspective ...

I was having a rough day after finding out some rather unsettling news. I was angry, hurt, sad and just plain frustrated. It continued that way for most of the day and I was on the verge of tears. And then ...
It changed , one of my favorite people walked in with his radiant Smile he is 89 years old blind, hard of hearing and riddled with arthritis. Yet his energy is infectious and the love that radiates from his being always makes me tear up in a good way. Just like that my perspective changed  I am grateful for the good people I am blessed by...JMG☀️

Make it or Break it moments...

I have been put in make it or break it moments several times in my life. Forced to face the facts by having them put in my face with no choice but to change the situation or let the situation change me.

For the most part this kind of directectness is what I need to take action. It is when I'm forced with losing something I love that creates the urgency. I never want to be put in this situation that causes the kind of pain that can destroy somebody. My goal is to live in such a way that I do what I say and that there is never any doubt of my intentions. I want to be known as Honest ,True and Completely Trustworthy... 🎶 jmg 🎶

Better of Me...

 Sometimes these emotions get the better of me It however isnt a bad thing. It really is nice to feel  emotions again other than sadness.  It seems I cry at the drop of a hat anymore ,when I read something beautiful, when I hear a song that holds good memories, when I look at the sunset.
I push the numbness away to feel everything.  Mostly gratitude and that's where the majority of my tears come from. It is all the blessings that I am grateful for. This life that I'm living is something I had envisioned for many years. Honestly I know it's only going to get better as I have new visions,dreams and certainties. I am a happy & thankful woman...🌱jmg🌾

Connections in life...

Life is about connections.  Being of service,helping those who are in need and being non judgemental. Most days especially the ones I get frustrated over the silly things , I get shoulder checked by the Universe ,which causes me to look up and be aware of my surroundings. It's usually somebody who is great need that gives as reminder how Blessed I am and I become immediately humbled and grateful. Never cease the opportunity to help another if you are able, you will never be sorry. Life is about connecting with others . Leave your comfort zone and think how uncomfortable some people are forced to live and still manage to Smile...✌🏼️Jmg☀️

No more shame -

I used carry shame around in regards to my circumstances. I would hide the bruises push down the emotions to minimize them. I wore a fake smile and over compensated to hide my insecurities.
I lied to everyone about my state of being...I learned to live a disingenuous life full of shame and lies.
But now I have released it all no more shame no more accepting the blame for actions that were not mine. I accept the feelings deal with them ,find out why I'm having them and address them. I will allow my light to Shine as it was dulled for too many years... I am grateful I love myself before I love anyone else....❤️Jmg❤️

Hey little girl...

Hey little you're sweet and lovely. Hey little girl you're loved and protected. Hey little girl you're smart and funny. Hey little you're kind and compassionate. Hey little girl you're you're worthy and strong. Hey little girl you're capable and clever. Hey little you're  all grown up...JMG 🌅

Helping Her...

Help she cried, I'm lost and need to find my way home...I remember the road was lush and lined with wildflowers. I remember the Sun shone through the trees onto my face, I remember the smell of the forest as i walked alone on the path. I remember feeling such utter joy I never wanted the journey to end. I remember earning my sleep as I finally reached my destination. I recall the welcome of home as I entered the gate. I remember feeling proud of myself for making the long journey on my own ...She helped Herself because she was her own savior 🌳Jmg🌳

Things I'm looking forward to...

I remember crying myself to sleep not too many years ago ,hoping for days like these. The day I would be free from pain,humiliation, and just complete despair....The things I visualized have come to be and I know the rest of my hopes and dreams for a better life are also falling into place. The house with a Red door,black shutters ,picket fence and hydrangeas growing in the garden. A place to call Home...
a peaceful place greeted by the love of my life with a sweet soft kiss. I dream of this coming to pass. As it has always been a desire for my life . My dreams for Me ...My dreams for Us...❤️☀️❤️jmg

Vulnerable...

I have chosen to be vulnerable to let what I love destroy me...
To give all I am with the possibility of complete destruction. I fear because I have been here before but I hope because I was never here like this, in a positive light. So I'm open to all things good ,I will live in the present tense and allow the situation to play out as it will. I trust my choices . I trust the Universe as it all comes into play- jmg🌎

Changing times...

You are not obligated to be bound to memories ...to be held captive ,to continue to give credence to them 
You are allowed to discard and disregard things that no longer serve
you... You are the author ,the designer and the director of your life. Past is past do not allow a haphazard blue print to continue to be built upon , it was wrong !!! You choose your destiny. Choose love,choose to trust ,choose happiness , choose to love yourself ...
Change begins when you no longer accept being treated  less than what you deserve ... jmg🌤

Missing ...

Some days I Smile because I miss you other days I cry, the impact you have made in my life is immeasurable. The joy I get from your memory makes my heart swell. I always felt loved in your arms and you were one of the men I could always depend on no matter what. I have found a beautiful soul . That has your traits and it makes me smile, because you always told me you wanted someone who appreciated me and now I have. Miss you ,Love you still -11 jmg🌅

Rain...

Met Him on a rainy day - Quirky,Funny, and Calm I knew I wanted more but the question was did He ???
Would He ask to see me again ? Wasn't sure but just put out to the Universe.
There was more and more still. So much more that my days are filled with Sunshine and even when it rains it just reminds me of new beginning. This is my life now... Happy not sad , Loved not hated, Safe not fearful, Protected not abused, Appreciated not taken for granted, Beautiful not ugly,Smart not stupid...and Wanted not discarded. The tide has turned and I'm no longer pulled under but I'm safe on the Shore enjoying it all..jmg 🌦🌥🌤☀️

Stay...

The urge to run away finds me in my most vulnerable moments the thoughts and fears that  permeate my mind keeps me victim to a long gone past. I have made peace with things I could not control but now it's the things in which I do control sometimes give me the most trouble. It's wonderful to have support, it is something I never had the luxury in past relationships. I want to stay present,focused and forward moving and not let the fear of getting hurt keep me from allowing myself to be loved completely I was once told you should never have to fight for love ...because love just happens - so cherish it when it finds you...jmg 🌳

It's Time...

It's time to get serious about the serious things of my life..
It isn't going to last forever ,struggle is a temporary place but necessary. Sometimes it's the struggle which we go through shows us how much we really want something. I want this a new life ,a new way of thinking ,a new way of "being" ... It is Worth facing my fears head on because as I once said "it is a privilege to suffer for the thing in which we love the most" . I accept the help being offered because I can't do it alone together WE will do this ...I love you much ...❤️☀️❤️jmg

All or Nothing...

She had to give All or Nothing. She loved Him with everything She had it was easy to do. She knew as much She wanted the thought of Forever the fear crept in it might not ...She had to accept that and live in the moment.She was ready to be who She was meant to be
 It was nice to have someone in her corner that didn't pressure or demand but ask and support. Her grateful heart overflowed. She knew everything was going to be ok...jmg🌻

Release it...

I release it I am not what happened to me.
I am not the opinion of others,I am not at fault for other people's sins.
I am free, I am worthy, I will take action and allow good things into my life. I will accept love whole hearted and I will love with all I am. My thoughts manifest my destiny. My intent will lead to action. I am all things good...jmg☀️

This...

11

Art of ...

The art of doing nothing is easy to do with the right person ... I enjoy you -sitting doing nothing just having you near is all I really want. A perfect fit hand in hand lounging in the Sun...
Lovely day indeed. You make life easy .I accept that it's ok to let it be easy ,no need to struggle just ACCEPT. I accept all good things, I graciously receive...jmg☀️ 

You are enough...

You are enough just as you are ....Suffient ,good enough,worthy,beautiful,brave,an intellect,lovely,an old soul ... You are so unique and that is what the world needs. You are loved, you're thought of,you're cared for,you're missed when you're not around. Do not ever think for one second you are not any of these because you are one and all - all inclusive Know that!!!
I just think you need to hear this more of often if not from me most definitely from yourself ... I love you to the Moon and back ...JMG...🌻👏🏼🌻11

Blessed be ... Blessed Me

I am so fortunate for the amazing people I have in my life I cry tears of joy as I write this. When you think you're down and out there is someone with gentle hands to pick you up and brush you off.
I've always tended to my own wounds but it's nice to have somebody who will be there to help me out. Thank you for caring I am blessed and I only pray I am able to Bless others as well.We all deserve someone who will stand in our corner ...and it's nice to know my corner is full ...jmg☀️

Today was hard...

Today was a hard day fought back the tears and was less then friendly these emotions have me on a roller coaster ride... Trying to fake a smile is the hardest thing for me to do now. I used to be good at it ,when I was numb but now that I'm feeling again you know when I'm happy and you sure as hell can tell when I'm sad. I wish I could drive away from this place. I don't like what I'm feeling right now I hope it passes soon. The air is heavy tonight feels cold on my skin chills me to the bone I want to go home but I don't know where that is

Feeling feelings ...

I have been feeling feelings again ... Where I had lived decades numbed to it all
They joy,the sadness ,fear, happiness , and most of all a respect for myself...
Despair has fled and been replaced with hope. I choose to let the past remain it no longer serves a purpose in my life I took from it what I needed and disgaurd the rest. It's funny how I can cry again
Tears of joy now mostly a true gratefulness of what my life has become.
The growth and forward direction makes me Smile. The amazing connections that being shared and the bonds that are being reinforcered makes me sigh. My girls have a role model worthy of looking up to.. It's good to feel again thank you for being a friend,a lover and my partner through all of this - I am humbled by your love ...jmg☀️

Even the Rain has purpose...

Even the storms as they pass over us have purpose of cleansing out the dirt & debris that hangs over and around us...
We fight to keep our bearing as we are tossed and turned about in the midst of a violent storm yet when it's over and we come out of it we are left stripped of all that had been clinging to us only to be clean,weathered and ready for the sunny days ahead. The point is there is ALWAYS a Bright side it may just take a second to see it. Be tough but stay Sweet . JMG...☀️

Is this what you wanted...

Yes ... This has always been what I have wanted 

An Amazing connection, Friendship, with a Peaceful Comfort 

It has taken time to get Us here and struggles along the way yet I know you feel like my future

I'm truly appreciative for the Blessings that are abundant in my life...yes my cup runneth over

I expect nothing appreciate what I have and look forward to better things ahead for Us

Yes I want this ... Every single Beatiful day ...jmg☀️

Lesson learned...

I made the mistake of giving the wrong people my time , and trusting some completely untrustable people. They Will come off as friends  but have nothing but bad intentions for you.  Always listen to the little voice in your head that warns  it's almost never wrong ... Some of the hardest lessons I learned  had to be learned the hard way. Yet I suppose it was what I needed at the moment to get my attention.

When we're living wrong we become complacent, accepting  of our own bad behavior and poor choices, to the detriment to ourselves and those who love us.  Lessons I've learned is don't trust  all of those who claim to be your friend.  Time is one thing you can never get back don't waste it on those who don't deserve it...jmg🌳

How it feels...

"Is this how it should feel?"
Was a question posed by my youngest daughter ...
Yes my love this is exactly how IT should feel...
 A gentle sense of security , A place that feels like home , and a space that allows you to be who you were meant to be  without judgment ,Even my children feel it.
 Which confirms what I already know I'm exactly where I need to be . May it always feel this way And may it feel this way to everyone that enters Our door . I hope to make you feel loved ,the way I feel loved by you ...☀️jmg

It's a Beautiful thing...

It's a Beautiful thing to Love & be Loved in return ...to find someone that allows you to let all your guards down , your fears subside , your failures and your flaws disappear. To find someone that no matter how bad you messed up they will accept and forgive without holding it against you for the rest of your life.  To be able to matter to Someone that matters so much to you... To know really know and not doubt. To allow yourself to fully be yourself , give yourself and accept yourself with them. My life has not been easy up to this point , but if I'm able to weather this part of the storm and come out okay. I know the hardest part is behind me - Words become Actions , Actions become Truths☀️ JMG

Story of a girl...

There was this story of a girl... Who did nothing to deserve the hand she was dealt. It was for anyone to suffer what she suffered there was nothing special that set her apart to exempt her from such things. It was in the way she handled it that made her different. On the side of caution and self preservation she turned hard and cold ... She had always been a fighter because it was what was necessary , weakness was never an option. Under the guise of strength ,she lost all of her softness all of her sweetness ,all of her innocence... Some could never be recovered others had to relearned ,the process is long and difficult yet it's a change she chose to undertake. Learning to love who she is ,is the most challenging of all. Integrity had eluded her because of her choices but "no more" she said . You are better than what you're living ,you are worthy of a better life, you deserve to love and be loved ... Do what you say,live what you preach and show respect for those you care for ...because if you change nothing -nothing will change ...jmg☀️

The little things...

Holding your hand when we're just sitting on the couch watching t.v.,you brushing the hair out my eyes,forehead kisses, falling asleep on your chest, the strong but gentle hugs,the way your eyes light up when you smile, how I'm always safe with you,comfortable silence,knowing ... And feeling. ...jmg☀️

She Smiled...

She Smiled at the thing that brought her here
A necessary evil gave her the the ability to see all the things laid out before her.
The birth of a struggle gave way to a Beautiful prospect.
Sometimes it's the fight that shows us what we are willing to risk for that we love ...
And sometimes its conseding defeat and walking away from a bad situation
From bad comes good because of the lessons learned.
Happy to be schooled that I may know what feels right isn't always the right choice but what IS Right will find us...jmg💙

Universe Speaks...

Is this the Universe answering the question of where I need to be?
Am I to be more proactive,less proactive, more  trusting of the process or accepting of what is being given to me.
This feeling cuts like a knife I just refuse to bleed, but its undeniable. my heart has never been so confused. They say if you have someone to love you you're lucky...what if you aren't sure then what?
One should never have to question love and when it comes to that then maybe its not for you.
Don't live a life settled for either you're either  head over heels can't live without them or you're just living to get through the day.
I don't want get through my days I want to know for sure ...It was said I wasn't needed
haa I guess i'm not...!  LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HAVE TO QUESTION LOVE...JMG

Sunny Days ahead...

There are bright Sunny days ahead I have made the choice to invest all I am able ,leave it on the door step and allow those I offer my Love to either accept it for all it is or disregard it. I in thee wake of the process  know I have done everything in my power to make amends  .Nothing about the past can be changed other than to acknowledge ,accept ,take responsibility for my actions ,ask for forgiveness if necessary and move forward...I choose to be happy regardless of others inability to move forward . I choose my Destiny
Standing with open arms embracing a happy future...Sunshine, Smiles & Joy   ...{love} jmg

Meek & Mild...?

When did you become so Meek & Mild? 
When did you lose all your Bold & Wild?
When did you disappear into something else and lose every single sense of Self?
Why do think it's OK to shrink and give a shit what others think?
You are Bright,Bold & Strong!!!
Playing small does not belong.
Now find yourself you little girl and make an impact on this World. . . Be yourself & go unfold all the talent that you put on hold...《♡》jmg

Ghost in the room...

There is Presence made by your Absence.
Like a Ghost that haunts me ,Your words resonate in my ears ,your touch  lingers on my skin, your smile fills my memory,your gentleness remains as part of who I am now...though my arms reach and you're not here my heart feels you very near...Loving you 《♡》 jmg

Room with a view ...

All she knew...

All she knew is that she loved him,loved waking up to him,loved laying in his strong gentle arms,loved the way he kissed her forehead 3 times in a row,loved when he brushed her hair off her face,loved the way he interlaced his fingers with hers when they made love. . . But most of all she loved the way he loved her《♡》

In the missing...

Its funny how he never let her go. She was gone but her ghost filled the room. Almost palpable,the scent of her filled the air,he saw her in the fading light ,heard her laughter as if she were in the other room.
She never forgot him...His love permeated her soul...it was part of who she was. Things like this never die only live on in the heart. 
The feeling of being sick at the thought of the loss. ..the no more ,the idea i will never feel your arms around me again slightly takes a toll ,day by day like a scar that fades over time but you can still remember the pain of how you got it. ...jmg《♡》

Whispers...

I often Whisper my thoughts hoping you would catch them...
Whispered words of Love ,Whispered words of Fear
The Progression of things terrifies me .
Unlearn the bad, Re-Learn the Good
Trust the Trust Worthy...Forget the ones that broke Our Trust.
Accept the Positive, Decidedly decline the negative.
Remember what its like to Love openly without reservation,
Loving someone right and Whole Heartedly will hurt if done with all we have,
But the Hurt to Love ratio will be overwhelmingly on the side of Love its a win - win situation ...
I open myself to Love , I open myself to Positivity, I open myself to all things Good, Right & True...jmg

Without Pain,
 How will we know True Joy...?

It is a privilege to suffer for the things we love...

What if...

What if I decided I was going to stay ?
What if I decided I was going to go?
Would it  all be the same to you either way?
Would Stars still have meaning ?
Would Ocean still exist?
Would Sun still warm your face?
Would the Moon glow as bright?
Would Honey on your lips still taste as sweet?
Would a Flower be as beautiful?
Or is there no difference either way...?
or does it matter?

Wonder...

Did you ever wonder if you could win her...?
If you could be the One to capture her heart...?
Be the Person she reveals her fears and hurts...?
Do you care enough to care enough...?
I don't believe in living in the past yet there is something to be said from the lack concern ...or at least how I see it from my perspective.
I never ask for much.
I only hope for consideration.
I sometimes feel like "filler" temporary status to a full time "issue"
insert girl here ...am  I just filler?

Sea n Me...

Take me to the Sea ,You and Me Hand in Hand, Waves on Sand, Ebe and Flow, Come and Go, Sun and Light ,Lovers Plight... High then Low...Undertow Pulled beneath, Waves of deep, Oceans darkness secrets keep...jmg