Who she loves...

She doesn’t just love anyone. It takes a lot to earn her love. For some she felt empathy and wanted to show them how it was to be loved. For others there was something undeniably lovable. Others couldn’t get dance with her even when the music pulsed. She needed to be needed at times other times she fought her own happiness,she loved to self sabotage feeling unworthy of true love. She feared it with everything she had. Terror crept in while she waited for them to stop loving her.
It was only a matter of time that that would utterly destroy her. She knew and yet she loved angry at herself most times for allowing someone in.
She would always leave first to make it hurt less...jmg

Happy...

Sometimes I get caught up in the moment of loving and then fear comes in and pulls me away. I try to stay in the moment of goodness but  the foreignness of happiness as an adult had eluded me. I will try everyday to accept the joy I’m in , and rearranging thoughts and feelings is silent battle, I’m slowly winning. Fear never makes me cry but happiness does. I’m brought to tears most days. I’m grateful for everything I have in my life... Thank You ,thank you ,thank you...🌻JMG