Monday, August 21, 2017

Answers...

Sometimes we want answers for questions we should never ask. In our own heart and soul we know the truth of it all. We try rationalize a persons behavior as to give our own mind a state of peace. The truth is we see signs,cues, red flags if you will, that hold a certain honesty. So we can either take those as self evidence or ask the question which we may really not want know the answer to.
I'd rather ask and be certain than to assume and live in ambiguity... Hurt me with the truth and never comfort with a lie ...jmg 🖤

Monday, July 3, 2017

Different...

It's amazing how different I am.
There are patterns and behaviors that are I n such contrast to what I used to be. I love who I am,the relationship I'm in,the way I feel about myself and others. There is a calm and peace in me that hadn't existed in a very long time. They say be the energy you want to receive. Well if that's an indicator of who I'm with , then I guess I have done better then I could have ever imagined. I literally dreamt of the life I'm living. For years living in a hell I always knew I'd find a partner who I could share paradise with.I'm blessed to be in a safe place, no fear ,no hatred,no deprivation.
I am Happy with who I'm allowed to be... I'm in the Nowness of it all...JMG🖤

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Certain truths

There were certain truths.... the fact I have loved the wrong person at the right time ,the right person at the wrong time. And now the person I had always knew was "out there" just waiting in time.All of these people have taught me what I need to know about love and things I wish I never knew. The reality now is to be present, not bring past pain into my here & now. It's to live for today and be hopeful for tomorrow. The other truth is I never thought l would get out alive. I had always envisioned my better life. I don't look for pity I just tell my story as it was and as it is. Love is Beautiful when it is given & received , this is a dream long over due...🌼JMG🌼

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

The constant...

There was something sadly secure in the constant of the pain .
It really was all she knew , she could depend on it. And for her any kind emotion was better than none at all. The pain ended up being her friend. It allowed her to write countless hours. Her muse, it was so natural, the normalcy of comforted her.sad truth I know . She now struggles as the pain that was a daily expectation is gone ,now if she can see the Beauty she has instead of all 
She endured. Pain can be used as tool to build up oneself or used as weapon to self harm...jmg🖤

Overthinking...

I have this bad habit of overthinking. I break my own heart continuesly. Feeling unable to be Enough for anyone. I fight thoughts that serve no purpose,I know it's lies that this little voice whispers I turn it off mostly but when it returns it's full out scream. "Just another name in a book of lies.You'll never be wanted the way you want to be." I feel so temporary,just a thing passing time. Temperance ...no one , no thing. Shut it off , shut it up , stop the words that I hear, that break me the words that tear me apart. It used to be someone else's voice but now The irony is it's my own voice. Baby girl Please stop abusing that which is Beautiful and worthy of self love...jmg

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Hi Dad...

Hi Dad,
   This is your littlest girl Jennie. I want you to know how Happy I am in my new life. You never knew the hell I was living but you always said I just want you to be Happy Mija. Thank you for always making me feel loved and safe. The job You & Mom did was  phenomenal in making me a Bold,Caring & Worthy human being. I lost track of myself for a while , living under the thumb of a tyrant.
But now I found Myself again and am Blessed by someone very much like you. I miss you but I find you in the Kindest of ways. I am Loved I wanted to let you know your little girl is Happy - Remember 11 💙🌻💙...JMG

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Broken pieces...

She took her broken pieces and made a beautiful mosaic out them.
Most people don't have the vision to see beauty in the destroyed. Yet she configured the picture in her mind and made art from the mess. She could find a positive in all the negative. Now she just needs to have enough confidence to see the Beauty in herself...🌻JMG🌻

Rescuing...

She remembers the time when her life was so miserable all she wanted was someone to rescue her.
And then. It came to her , nobody was going to rescue her. It wa her job to be the one to save herself. "Go where you're celebrated not tolerated " I was always told that I was lucky that someone tolerated me ...  It took a series of events and painful truths told to me by friends to finally make me move my feet. I had to decide that I was worthy of a good life. I deserve good things, I owe myself the hope of a happy future. I will continue to convince myself and to be my very best to live it every single day...JMG
.🌼🖤🌼

Thursday, March 2, 2017

A time in our life...

There comes a time in our life when we want to grow old with someone.
Today I had to hold back the tears as I drove to work . There was an old couple crossing the street while holding hands it was sweet ,loving  and so very intimate. It literally pained my heart, because I thought what if I never have that ? That "aged" love that I love you til death do we part. Then I realized I need to be grateful for what I have in the moment. Don't worry about the future for its not promised to anyone. As I took a deep breath and composed my self I was able to smile with joy in my heart for all that is..🌼JMG🌼

Answers...

Sometimes we want answers for questions we should never ask. In our own heart and soul we know the truth of it all. We try rationalize a per...