Remnants of Things...

I find myself having to purge the remnants of feelings that hit me hard.
The feeling of loneliness has me missing my roots. I have never had close friends until adulthood when I connected with a few people. I lost a best friend first to an uncomfortable situation then finally to death. So in part I concluded that is part of the missing. Being connected to people is very hard for me to do. When I finally do losing contact will hit me hard at the most untelling times.
My siblings in truth have been my only true friends and I’m missing them too. I need to reconnect for   fear I might not be afforded the time again...back to my roots , back to my truth...JMG

Cuz Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel panic set in as I think about the future. I know there is not even a guarantee of such thing. The Big however is , if I am afforded the blessing of a long life who and what can I depend on?
I would like to believe the relationship I’m in will hold a future. My problem is expecting something is a sure recipe that you will be disappointed. So I expect nothing,hope for best, enjoy the Nowness of it all.
However my life turns out is an uncertain thing. I’m content in that because fear will cripple me if I overthink the worst case scenario. I’ve been through worse things and have always been ok. I trust the Universe. I’ve learned to trust myself and I will carry on even in the uncertainty of it all...jmg