Seek & Find

Sometimes we have to be careful what we seek because we might find things we really don't want to know. When things of the past find us we can longer be blissfully unaware , we have the choice to let those things shape our opinion of the situation or let them remain in the past. I try to eliminate all things of the past as not to cloud my future . I won't hold onto  Momentos from past lovers because I don't need to recall my time with them if I wanted to keep them valid and current I would still be with them. I don't need to be haunted by things that hold no value. It's been said I'm not sentimental yes I suppose that is very true. But I'd rather cherish what & who I have in front of me than to recall who has left my life for a reason ...👤Jmg

Letting...

Sometimes letting myself be "helped" is the most difficult thing I can allow. I have defined myself as self sufficient , independent ,and tough. Really I am in need of help that I refuse to seek most times. showing weakness has always been the hardest part of myself to reveal. Battered & bruised I would get up and say is that all you got? I'm tougher than that... and stand up to fight some more.
I now know I don't need to fight the things of my past. As they are long gone. My reality has changed.
I am in a different place, a different time and different state of mind. Almost reverting to a childlike trust that was broken eons ago. I can put my trust in the hands of "trustable" people. So many have betrayed me under the guise of love. It was never love but deceit .Not everyone that claims they love you has your best interest in mind, they will say things to deceive you for their benefit. I can allow myself to be loved this is something new. Not just giving but receiving...I am open to love I will love and be loved ...JMG

Words...

I save words.
I gaurd them ,I cherish them
I keep them, I give them
I feel them....
They build me up, they tear me down
They're my Septor & Crown
They're my shackles and chains....

They danced ...

There is something sweetly beautiful about watching your parents dance to 1940's era music in the kitchen when you're a child. It is almost a fairytale kind of moment, like watching them dance on their wedding night. As if nobody existed but them in that moment. Beautifully Nostalgic and moderately  tragic as I feel I might never have that. The simple truth is I'd be okay to never have that as I was blessed to witness my parents endearing dances . We may not always get what want but eventually we will get what we need...I still believe in Love like that - ❤JMG❤

Feed or Starve...

Nothing can survive without being fed. What do we feed ? Are we feeding our fears ,our insecurities, our hopes,our dreams? What we give our attention to will be the main focus of our life.
I want to change what I focus on. Positive thoughts generate positive action. Let us starve the negative things that bring us no value by rehashing them. We can learn from failure,pain,rejection and
become better in spite of them. Take from it what you need. We will learn to appreciate every opportunity to learn when we know how to look at everything as something to grow from...
 🌳JMG🌳

Cry for Help-

She  cried help in the night. Nobody heard but her. She realized that no one could save Her but Herself.
So She got a little angry because sometimes you have to be a little angry to put fire in your gut to give you "your Brave". In some form the anger stayed because it worked She liked the fight in Her. It made her strong. She liked Her loud voice it was Her confidence. She liked Her tenacity it was Her strength. She liked Her compassion it was Her Heart... She liked Herself  because despite all Her secrets She was an open book to those who chose to read Her. Not many took the time to read all of the pages they looked at the beautiful embossed 

 leather, colorful cover, thought it would be interesting to read. However after the first couple of chapters when it got deep and dark, it was too much for them to handle so they put It back on the shelf and just enjoyed the pretty cover yet never read fully through it. She waited for the one to read all of her pages. There was only one and now he is no longer he is dead and gone. but at least somebody knew who she was once☀JMG☀

Dispensable...

Feeling very dispensable, unsettled , and agitated not with anyone really just in an emotional state that  feels all too familiar. My first instinct is to shut down I'm really trying to make an effort to stay verbal and connected . Feels like I'm living with ghosts of Exes past and it's not a good vibe.
Maybe this is part of my growth they say nothing ever leaves us until it teaches us the lesson we need to learn from it...well fuck I should have a god damned Phd in heartbreak and pain by now.
I understand my worth but sometimes I allow myself to be jaded and my mind to be clouded with ghosts.and whispers in the dark of what used to be. I can overcome this but I just needed to get it out....for nobody in particular but for me JMG🗝

Season of Purpose...

I believe every season serves its purpose. Winters harshness that stings our skin with its bitter bite gives way to the Mild Beauty of Spring which gently welcomes us to the warmth of the Sun again , life slowly blooming into the rich Fullness of Summer with all of its welcoming Rays that in turn  brings such life to our bones you almost forever forget the winter of our discontent. Fall will come to us again with warm winds that will turn cold soon enough to remind us it's a circle Life,Death ,Love ,Loss , New ,Old, Happy , Sad , Good Bad everything has a season and reason...one always gives way to another...☀JMG❄

Survived not just to tell her tale...

She survived not just to tell her tale She survived to live her Dream. All the cold painful nights filled with tears and bruises led way to Her finding her fight. She is brave , She is kind , She is funny but most of all She is Gentle yet Strong. She has learned to Smile at Herself in the mirror and appreciate what She sees. Behind Her eyes there are a million stories to tell of how She became the Hero of Her own story. How the end wasn't really the end but just an amazing twist of sequences and self  actualization. She is content with who She has allowed Herself be and where She allows Herself to be... She lives and no longer just exists ☀jmg☀

The Memories...

There was a slurry of memories bouncing around in her mind.

Some so beautiful she would always appreciate and defer to them when she was sad. 

She replayed them like a movie in her head. Lead characters, Scenes so well written you knew exactly where the story was going... or so you thought but the change in the tone was so subtle you didn't see it coming. 

You thought for sure you knew how the story would end. Well it wasn't anything you could have guessed. Her happily ever after wasn't what you thought or even with who was written in. The change in lead character left you speechless and even happy. The tragic romance was turned into a sort of romantic comedy a contrast of ending... those are the best endings. Being caught off guard in the best of ways...jmg🎥

Wish to Reality...

Remember the day you wished for this ? She asked herself and She recalled the moment. She thought what a wonderful thought but her heart almost broke thinking it would never be. It's a powerful thing to have the fruition of a Dream. Now the thought of more ,envision the rest of your dreams, what's stopping you ? The question was pondered...Me she said to herself. Make all the aspersions …a truth ,a reality.

The only one standing in your way is the one staring back at you in mirror.

Why are you afraid to be truly happy ? What do you fear ? Is living partly happy all you want for yourself?    No...  I want to live a satisfied , purpose and completely fulfilled life.
So J- stop waiting and finish what you've started you're on the right track...jmg🌻