Sometimes letting myself be "helped" is the most difficult thing I can allow. I have defined myself as self sufficient , independent ,and tough. Really I am in need of help that I refuse to seek most times. showing weakness has always been the hardest part of myself to reveal. Battered & bruised I would get up and say is that all you got? I'm tougher than that... and stand up to fight some more.
I now know I don't need to fight the things of my past. As they are long gone. My reality has changed.
I am in a different place, a different time and different state of mind. Almost reverting to a childlike trust that was broken eons ago. I can put my trust in the hands of "trustable" people. So many have betrayed me under the guise of love. It was never love but deceit .Not everyone that claims they love you has your best interest in mind, they will say things to deceive you for their benefit. I can allow myself to be loved this is something new. Not just giving but receiving...I am open to love I will love and be loved ...JMG