I have this certain daily mind fuck . I can’t separate myself from the memory of my deceased “best friend “. I miss our conversations and just the sheer comfort of knowing despite circumstances that parted us
We would make our way back to each other as friends. That will no longer be the case. The fact I will never hold a conversation with him ever again it breaks me , there is a physical pain from his void. Part of me has died with him. I can not erase him and I’m angry and embarrassed about it. For selfish reasons because I’m lonely.I’m saddened that I carry a torch for dead man. Not romantically but companionship wise. I miss his company. We were each other’s therapist in a way probably unhealthy in some instances yet I have never met anyone in my life I have connected with in such a way. My heart aches daily for his company...uncomfortable truths but truths none the less...🌻JMG
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